the meaning of crying

October 8th, 2006

When children cry, what do we interpret it to mean?

Crying often sounds like a demand:
“I’m upset! And I want you to do something about it!”

Or blame:
“I’m upset–and it’s your fault!”

The summer after I graduated from college I volunteered for the local Department of Social Services. A boy was brought in who had been severely neglected. He was three years old but was kept in a crib. The most disturbing thing was that he always had a blank look on his face. He did not respond to people smiling, making faces, or talking with him. He also did not cry.

This helped me realize what a healthy sign of communication crying can be.

Earlier this week, from the little park outside my window I could hear a child crying to his mother.

In my head, I translated his sobs to mean:
“I care! I care! I care!”
(It made the sound much less annoying–I don’t think it’s a coincidence that many ambulance sirens sound like babies crying, a noise that is hard to ignore. )

Would people be less likely to tell children “Stop crying!” if this translation were more widely recognized? If “Stop crying” were interpreted as “Stop caring”?