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When children cry, what do we interpret it to mean?

Crying often sounds like a demand:
“I’m upset! And I want you to do something about it!”

Or blame:
“I’m upset–and it’s your fault!”

The summer after I graduated from college I volunteered for the local Department of Social Services. A boy was brought in who had been severely neglected. He was three years old but was kept in a crib. The most disturbing thing was that he always had a blank look on his face. He did not respond to people smiling, making faces, or talking with him. He also did not cry.

This helped me realize what a healthy sign of communication crying can be.

Earlier this week, from the little park outside my window I could hear a child crying to his mother.

In my head, I translated his sobs to mean:
“I care! I care! I care!”
(It made the sound much less annoying–I don’t think it’s a coincidence that many ambulance sirens sound like babies crying, a noise that is hard to ignore. )

Would people be less likely to tell children “Stop crying!” if this translation were more widely recognized? If “Stop crying” were interpreted as “Stop caring”?

This entry was posted on Sunday, October 8th, 2006 at 5:59 pm and is filed under Inner Compass. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.